8 Points for the Fat Kid

 By this point in the week we are heading straight into the mid-week hump and I have to say, I wish we were already at the weeks end. Since my son was born my wife and I rarely do anything outside of the home. Marcus (our son) heads to bed around seven o'clock and Renee and I get to work doing dishes, cleaning the house, and watching “Biggest Loser” while eating popcorn. I know, eating while watching a weight loss show seems pretty cliche, but that is exactly what we do almost every week.

I have recently been reading a book which talks about viewing life as a story and I have to say it is hard to do. I was thinking about the story I have been living thus far in my life. I came to the realization that I have been living a small story. A boring story. A story that would put people to sleep if it were ever to be put into film or book.

I struggle with an immense fear of people, conversation, and failure. Once when I was ten years old I started my own lawn mowing service called “Sutter's Lawn Service”. I hung fliers around a few towns in our area with the little pull off tabs with my phone number on them and waited for someone to call. It took a few weeks but I finally got a call back. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday. My mom answered and called me to the phone and whispered to me that it was someone wanting me to mow their lawn. I took the phone into my shaking hands and put it up to my ear and said, “hellee, Helli, uh!, Hello?” I felt like the stupidest kid in the neighborhood. From that point on I hated talking on the phone and still do to this day.

There were a few years in there where I actually lived in fear of having to answer the telephone and speak with the person on the other end. My fear of phone calls translated and shifted into a fear of people. I wouldn't look people in the eye when in a conversation and rarely started one.

Looking back I can see that my fear kept me from living a larger story. My fear held me captive for far too long. Now, ironically I work in customer service at a retail store. Let's just say I had to face my fear of people head on.

Before reading this book I had not given much thought to what kind of story I was living. I was just living life, or so I thought. I'm the type of person who tries to live in the here and now, not the future. However, I do sometimes find myself living in the past. When I was in high school I played basketball on a home school team. I wasn't very good and spent most of my short lived career sitting on the bench. I was heavy set and short in stature, not a good combination for the sport of basketball, but I loved to play the game. It seems strange, but sometimes I find myself thinking back to a basketball tournament where I I scored eight point in the matter of five minutes. A career first (and last).. When I think about that time in my life I have to smile because I was such a dork.

My story at this point does have all the elements it needs to be a great story according to Donald Miller author of “A Millions Miles in a Thousand Years”. He says the best stories involve “a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it”. It is true isn't it? All the great epics portray someone overcoming immense odds to, like Frodo in the epic book and movie trilogy Lord of the Rings, getting the ring to the Mountain of Doom or like Rudy getting the hell beaten outta him by college football players.

I haven't ever faced Orcs or gotten my back side handed to me by a seven foot tall human battering ram, but I have been through my share of life conflict. I don't want to go into my past here but if you read some of my previous blogs you will discover some of the “poo” I have been through.

I'm still not quite sure what I am trying to “get” yet, but I know that it involves my family. My family is my world. I get up everyday, go to work, come back home, and do it all over again the next day for my family.

I used to think that the one thing I was trying to become was a world famous worship leader who would lead thousands of people in worship in stadiums across the country. I would travel all around the world on tour with Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio. However, as I said in one of my recent posts I got wrapped up in leading worship at my church and kind of forgot about my family. I spent way too much time working and much too little time with my wife and son.

Stepping down as worship leader was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. It wasn't just because I love music or that I loved the people that I was leading, but more because I had to let go of the dream. I had to lay down what I thought was important to be a better father, husband, and servant. I got distracted by a smaller side story. I took my eyes off of the real story, which I'm still not clear on, and began to focus on the side plot. Being a world famous worship leader is a smaller story. Being a good father and husband, now that is a story that I want to get wrapped up in.

So what kind of story are you living? Are you lost in the side story, back story, or the special affects? They are all things to distract us from the real story. I can't tell you what your story is, nor can you tell me mine. God has a story for each of us to live, we just have to hit the play button. So... what are you waiting for? To quote from the movie “Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader”, “Your journey begins now!”