Captain Planet

One of my favorite cartoons as a kids was "Captain Planet". I loved sitting in front of the t.v. watching these characters battling the "bad guys" as they pollute the planet. They were dumping toxic waist out of big metal drums or spilling oil in the ocean. Anyway you look at it Captain Planet was the best cartoon ever!

I was singing the theme song in the kitchen this morning as my wife was fixing her breakfast. I asked her if she had ever seen the show. She said, "does it sound like I have ever seen the show? You have to remember I grew up in a house of girls." I thought to myself first, "how could someone so smart not have seen such an awesome cartoon?" and second, "that must really stink not seeing the best cartoon ever made".

As I was thinking about Captain Planet I wondered if Jesus' disciples ever felt like captain planet as they were spreading the gospel across the world. I am sure Paul had to feel that way because he was writing letters and planting churches all across the land. Paul came up against some pretty heavy spiritual pollution in some of the churches he planted.

I wonder if the pastors of today's churches feel this way. Like they have be the one to save the day and clean up the church environment. No matter how you look at it, our pastors have it pretty ruff. The next time you see your pastor let him or her know how much you appreciate how hard they work and the mess they go through everyday.

Where Momma Doe?

This morning I had a really hard time pulling myself out of the precious slumber that I enjoy so much. The main reason for this struggle was my son. He just turn two years old and he seems to have an acute case of the separation anxiety. We put him down for "night night" at right around 7:45 pm and he slept like a baby until my wife and I went to bed at 10 pm. We were laying in bed on the verge of entering dream land when we hear the piercing sound of screams and tears and "where momma doe? where momma doe?". Renee got up the first time and tried to settle the little one down and it only took a few minutes. She found her way back to the bedroom bumping into walls on her way. About ten minutes later we here the same piercing screams and tears as before. This time I choose to go and again it only took a few minutes to calm the boy and I was back in the bed lumbering toward la la land.
Well, to make a long story short, after getting up for what seemed like the twentieth time the alarm went off and it was time to start another day.
As I was spending my time with Jesus this morning I was praying and I got this image of God, frustrated and perturbed, coming to me once again to comfort me, His whining, screaming, child for the one thousandth time. I was taken aback by this image of God consistently coming to my aid as His child. He is there whenever I wake up screaming with tears saying "where Jesus doe?".
No matter how often I wake up in the middle of the night kicking and screaming He is always there. He may be exhausted and a little frustrated for having to get up for the one millionth time, but He always comes to aid me in my time of need. What a great Father I have.

I'm Finished!!

Well, it's done!! I finished the book I was reading, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” by Donald Miller. I have to say that I am rather impressed with myself. I can't recall a time when it took me less than a week to read a book. Of course there are the kids books that I read almost daily to my son, but those don't count. I am talking about a book with 200 or more pages.


I am the slowest read I know and still slower than the ones I don't. I get distracted very easily and find myself reading over what I have all ready read just to get back to the place where I got distracted. In college I only finished one book in the entire two and a half years and it was only 150 pages long and it still took me five weeks to get it done. The amazing thing is that I still graduated with a 3.4 GPA. It was the book from my first college class. I am proud to say that this book that I just finished was 259 pages long.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years is a very easy read if you were wondering. It was a story about finding story in the story you are living. That's a lot of story.

Oops, my son is waking up from his nap.

I was just so inspired by Miller's stories of world travel, meeting new people, and biking across the country, that I simply had a hard time putting it down. I would encourage anyone who is thinking of reading this wonderful book to do it. Live in the story that Donald Miller is telling, or better yet, read the book and get involved in your own story. Oh, don't just take my word for it, find out for yourself.

Before I started reading this book I read the back cover, you know, to get a feel for what the book is about. I also read the note about the author and I almost didn't read the book. Donald Miller serves on President Barack Obama's task force on Fatherhood and Healthy Families. I consider myself a conservative and had to get over myself to read this book. Who knew God could use a Democrat to introduce people to a larger story?!?! I am kidding of course. I have a number of family and friends who voted for President Obama and I love each one of them very much. It really doesn't matter who any of us votes for that matters, it's about how we all work together to make the country better, no matter who wins the election.

This really isn't an political blog I promise. That was one of my more distracted moments. It could be my A.D.D. or the fact that I am watching the movie “Groundhogs Day” as I write this. Anyway, I love Donald Miller's writing and I would encourage anyone to read any and all of his amazing books.

Here is the official trailer for the movie “Blue Like Jazz”.

 

 

The Story Your Living

By this point in the week we are heading straight into the mid-week hump and I have to say, I wish we were already at the weeks end. Since my son was born my wife and I rarely do anything outside of the home. Marcus (our son) heads to bed around seven o'clock and Renee and I get to work doing dishes, cleaning the house, and watching “Biggest Loser” and eating popcorn. I know, eating while watching a weight loss show seems pretty cliche, but that is exactly what we do almost every week.


I have recently been reading a book which talks about viewing life as a story and I have to say it is hard to do. I was thinking about the story I have been living thus far in my life. I came to the realization that I have been living a small story. A boring story. A story that would put people to sleep if it were ever to be put into film or book.

I struggle with an immense fear of people, conversation, and failure. Once when I was ten years old I started my own lawn mowing service called “Sutter's Lawn Mowing”. I hung fliers around a few towns in our area with the little pull off tabs with my phone number on them and waited for someone to call. It took a few weeks but I finally got a call back. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday. My mom answered and called me into to room and whispered to me that it was someone wanting me to mow their lawn. I took the phone into my shaking hands and put it up to my ear and said, “hellee, Helli, uh!, Hello?” I felt like the stupidest kid in the neighborhood. From that point on I hated talking on the phone and still do to this day.

There were a few years in there where I actually lived in fear of having to answer the telephone and speak with the person on the other end. My fear of phone calls translated and shifted into a fear of people. I wouldn't look people in the eye when in a conversation and rarely started one.

Looking back I can see that my fear kept me living a small story. My fear held me captive for far too long. Now, ironically I work in customer service at a retail store. Let's just say I had to face my fear of people head out.

Before reading this book I had not given much thought to what kind of story I was living. I was just living life, or so I thought. I'm the type of person who tries to live in the here and now, not the future. However, I do sometimes find myself living in the past. When I was in high school I played basketball on a home school team. I wasn't very good and spent most of my short lived career sitting on the bench. I was heavy set and short in stature, not a good combination for the sport of basketball, but I loved to play the game. It seems strange, but sometimes I find myself thinking back to a basketball tournament where I I scored eight point in the matter of five minutes. A career first (and last).. When I think about that time in my life I have to smile because I was such a dork.

My story at this point does have all the elements it needs to be a great story according to Donald Miller author of “A Millions Miles in a Thousand Years”. He says the best stories involve “a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it”. It is true isn't it? All the great epics portray someone overcoming immense odds to, like Frodo getting the ring to the Mountain of Doom or like Rudy getting the hell beaten outta him by college football players.

I haven't ever faced Orcs or gotten my hind end handed to me by a seven foot tall human battering ram, but I have been through my share of life conflict. I don't want to go into my past here but if you read some of my previous blogs you will discover some of the “poo” I have been through.

I'm still not quite sure what I am trying to “get” yet, but I know that it involves my family. My family is my world. I basically get up, go to work, and come back home, and I do it everyday for my family.

I used to think that the thing I was trying to get was becoming a world famous worship leader who would lead thousands of people in worship in stadiums across the country. I would travel all around the world on tour with Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio. However, as I said in one of my recent posts I got wrapped up in leading worship at my church and kind of forgot about my family. I spent way too much time working and much too little time with my wife and son.

Stepping down as worship leader was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. It wasn't just because I love music and I love the people that I was leading, but more because I had to let go of the dream. I had to lay down what I thought was important to be a better father, husband, and servant. I got distracted by a smaller side story. I took my eyes off of the real story, which I'm still not clear on, and began to focus on the side plot. Being a world famous worship leader is a smaller story. Being a good father and husband, now that is a story that I want to get wrapped up in.

So what kind of story are you living? Are you lost in the side story, back story, or the special affects? They are all things to distract us from the real story. I can't tell you what your story is, nor can you tell me mine. God has a story for each of us to live, we just have to hit the play button. So... what are you waiting for? To quote from the movie “Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader”, “Your journey begins now!”

The Riv

This morning our family visited a church that we have been to in the past. Riverview Community Church in Holt, MI. Renee and I visited Riverview about seven years ago before we were married. We really liked the church back then, but felt that it was too big for us small town folk. Seven years ago God had a message for us through the Pastor, Noel Heikkenin about sex. We got the CD of the message and listened to it a few different times.

This week God had a message for me. It seems that everywhere I look God is talking to me about the freedom we as Christ followers have through Christ. I recently read a book “Bringing Up Boys” by Dr. James Dobson and part of that book talked about freedom in Christ. I was talking to a customer at the store and he talked to me about the same thing and then this morning. I guess God thinks I need to know my true freedom in Christ.

Freedom in Christ has been something that I have been thinking about for many years, but I never really got it. I couldn't anyone who would explain it to me in plain terms that I could apply to life. Well, this morning I finally found someone willing to tell me in plain terms that I could understand. The text used was 1 Corinthians 8:1-13 and it is as follows...

1 Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. 2 If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. 3 But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.

4 Therefore, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that “an idol has no real existence,” and that “there is no God but one.” 5 For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”— 6 yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.

7 However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. 8 Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. 9 But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol's temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? 11 And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. 12 Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble. (ESV)

I do not want to try and explain this passage at this time as I am still trying to process all the information I received this morning. I want to continue studying this passage to increase my understanding before I elaborate on this subject more. If you would like to hear the same message that we heard this morning just click on the link http://rivchurch.com/ . 

The Funk

Over the past few weeks I have been learning so much about myself and what I have been living like. As a worship leader I felt I was one of the best I had ever experienced. I felt that I had the right to think I was the best because I worked hard to better myself in the realm of worship music. I would work feverishly to work out a new song I heard on the radio and try to get it ready to play the next week at church. I found myself isolating myself from my wife and my son so that I could prepare for church once a week.


Granted, I was very busy. I work fifty hours a week at my job and then I would spend another ten to twenty hours on music at home. I found myself more married to worship music than to my wife and my son. I would throw myself into music and work and leave my family hanging out to dry.

Today, life is much different for our family. I stepped down from the worship leader position at our former church and basically stopped playing music all together. I had to detox from the habits I had gotten myself into as a worship leader. In fact we have been away from our old church about 6 months now and I just started to pick up my guitar again. It wasn't that I don't like music. I love music. I love everything about it, but I hated what it turned my into. Music brought out the pride in my life. I feel like I am finally starting to recover and learn how to give worship totally to God.

I played one of my favorite worship songs this morning I used “I” instead of “we” in the song. For me it took on a totally new meaning. It is good for the church to sings songs as a body, but so often we lose (as I did) our individual identity in the church. I would encourage you to change up the worship songs you sing and change the words from “we” to “me” and I think it will bring the effect of the song home to your heart.

I am so thankful that I am starting to come out of the funk that I have been in. I am hoping that maybe if you are in a funk today that this blog will find a place in your heart you too will be able to step out of the funk and into the light of day again.

It's a Curious Thing

It's a curious thing that has been happening lately since I have begun to talk more about my personal struggles and short comings as a man. In the last few weeks there have been three different people who have approached me asking if I would be willing to talk to someone they know who is struggling with various things that I have written about. Porn, abuse, and lust.


I used to think that I was all alone in my struggles with these things, but it turns out there are millions of men just like me who have been addicted to porn, or been abused, and struggle daily with lust. In my teenage years I was tormented by the problems I had with these things and I struggled in silence. Because I was a “PK” I felt I always had to be prefect. There was no room for error. I have to look the part and act the part. It was torture. I didn't know then that Christian's struggle with sin just as much as non-Christians. I didn't know that God loved me unconditionally or even what the word meant. All I could see was that I needed to be good or the church would feel my father was a bad pastor.

What I didn't know was that God doesn't really care how we look to others. If He did we would all be dressed in Armani jeans and dinner jackets designed by Ralph Lauren. God cares solely about the soul. Now of course He cares about every part of your life, but it all surrounds the soul. Everything that God does is to make sure that you are with Him in Heaven. That is why God gives us unlimited, unwarranted, unrelenting, unchanging, beautiful grace. Grace has covered all the sins we have committed and all the sins we will commit.

That is the thing I didn't get when I was a teenager. I didn't get that someone could love me so much that it didn't matter what I did. He was always going to love me and He was never going to stop loving me.

There is freedom in God's grace. Why do you think the song is calling “Amazing Grace”? Because it is. When I was a kid I thought that once you accepted Jesus into your life things would all get better and life would be perfect, but it is not true. The words of the song go like this, “Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm found. Was blink, but now I see.” Anywhere in those lyrics did you see where the wretch became un-wretched. No, because we are still wretches. The only difference is that now we are a wretch who is covered completely by a grace that is completely free. How amazing is that!!

Now back to being asked to talk to those three different people.

Whenever someone asks me if I will talk to someone about what I have been through I always feel uneasy. Partly because I have no idea what I am suppose to say. I would be like, “hey, so you were abuse as a kid? Cool, so was I.” I mean really, what am I suppose to say? It is much easier for me to throw a book at them and say, “here read this, it helped me” rather than just sitting down with them and saying “hey, I want you to know that I know what you are going through and it is so hard. But you can get through it. If you ever need someone to talk to who knows what you are going through, just give me a call. I will be there to listen if nothing else.”

Something like this should be so easy to do, but it's not. It feels so unsafe. So vulnerable. But this is what Jesus commanded us to do. Carry each others burdens. Why because it is much easier to carry the weight of what the world has dumped on you when someone else is helping you carry it.

If you are reading this right now and you need someone to just listen to what you are going through, simply comment anonymously on this post. I may post a response if your comment warrants one, otherwise I am just here to listen to your story. There is nothing worse than walking through life trying to hold inside the weight and mess that the world has dumped on you. Let it out here and now. There is something so freeing about talking about the pain and hurt that you have been through. I know, I have been there. The first time I told someone I was abused it was over instant messenger and the person logged off before I could tell them, but it was still so freeing. You can have the freedom that comes with dumping all that weight. Let it out here. I promise you that my wife and I will be praying for you even if you comment anonymously. God knows who your are, and He knows your name.