Doctor's Orders

So I was just watching a favorite T.V. talk show of mine called "The Doctors" on ABC. The hosts are Medical Doctors, Psychologists, and Physical Trainers. Today's show was about men and how they are not so good at sex. They gave some very good tips for better love making, but i was disturbed by an answer that was given to a caller to the show. The Caller: "I recently found about 150 nude pictures of other women on my husbands computer. Is this considered cheating and should I be concerned?" The Doctors: "Absolutely not! He is not cheating if he is looking at nude pictures of other women. It is not cheating because he is using it to enhancee his sexual relationship with you."
Needless to say, this has not been my experience. I have struggled with viewing pornography and I have to say that there is not about it that makes me think about my wife. In fact I draws a person away from their husband or wife. Porn is intended for personal pleasure and entrapment only. Porn is intrinsically meant and formed to make a person lust after something or someone that they don't have.
As a man who has been in a mess of hurt for viewing such things I can tell you that porn does nothing to enhance the sex life.
I consider myself four years sober as a former porn viewer and I can tell you that first, married sex is the best sex (I'm not sure how I know this because I have only had married sex, but I know people who have experienced both). Second, porn will only tear a marriage apart not bring it closer together with "better sex". When I finally got caught by my wife and nearly destroyed my marriage, I realized that sex is all about the other person not about me. Porn tells you that sex is all about you not about the other person.
If your a man who has been caught in the trap of looking at porn and you want better sex? The answer is simple, STOP WATCHING PORN!!! There are so many sad stories about men who have lost marriages because of porn. But there is help. There is a website called www.XXXchurch.com . XXXchurch has an amazing accountability software program that is free to keep you accountable while your online. I use it on all my computers and I can tell you that it will help you tremendously in your fight against porn.
My advice would be to put your pastor, wife, and one male friend as your accountability partners when you download the new software.

Finally, if you have been looking at porn the step is to admit that you have a problem, and then tell your spouse. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do and i was blessed enough to have an amazing wife who loved me through my struggles and did everything she could to help me overcome the addiction that I have. The reason I say "the addiction I have" is because like an alcoholic I will always consider myself a porn addict. Fathers I implore you to please, if you haven't already, please talk to your sons about the dangers of porn and what it means to look at women with respect.