Happy New Year

Well, the Sutter household is starting the new year out with exciting and yet nerve wracking news. No we are not expecting a baby.
This spring I am starting school again with a one semester class to become a Certified Phlebotomy Technician. I am excited about starting school again, but I am also nervous because it means that I will have to talk with my current employer about leaving. I am worried about this because there is no one to step into my position and no one coming up to train. We have had to run on such a short staff that if one person leaves the whole thing will fall apart. Its like a house of cards and this is one of the reason I am pursuing a new line of work. I can't just stand back and watch the economy destroy the business I work for. I refuse to close my eyes and pretend like the store will be ok. I can see that there isn't going to be any recovery from where we stand right now.
All of that being said, I am so excited to start in healthcare. It is a much more stable field to work in, especially in our area. We bought a house less than a block from a hospital and there are three other hospitals within a ten mile radius. Not to mention the hundreds of clinics, labs, and doctors offices that are located all around us. As I said in an earlier blog my goal is to head into nursing, but Renee and I have decided to start off slow with the education to make sure that I am a good fit for the healthcare system and that I will enjoy the work.
We are so blessed to be in a position to be able to take these steps now in our lives. We have always worked hard at everything we do and have tried to do our very best for our employers and for that we have been blessed with great jobs.
Our hope for the new year is that we can continue to work hard to advance our careers but also that we can have more time to spend together and enjoy life.
So from our house to yours, have a happy new year. 

Bell's Palsy Day 14 (week 2) Helpful Hints

A Day in the Life of Someone With Bell's Palsy

Today I was thinking back to before I was diagnosed with BP (Bell's palsy). Life was easy to be certain. Everyday living is so different right now for me. This is a day in my life with Bell's palsy.

Everyday just like before I wake up at 5:30 am and get myself ready for work. I pull myself out of bed after being so rudely awakened by my God forsaken alarm clock. I drag myself to the kitchen to start the coffee pot.

Once back in the bathroom, this is where the "fun" begins. I start by trying to shave. This is probably the hardest part of my morning. What I once was able to do by moving the muscles in my face I now have to do with my hands. One of the hardest things about shaving is try to relax the good side of my face enough to be able to shave it without hacking it up.

After shaving I move on to the shower. The shower isn't too bad if you like getting soap and water in your eye that doesn't close completely. While washing my face and hair I do my best to use one of my hands to hold my eye closed while I wash with the other. Before BP I used to love taking a shower. I would spend half my morning in the shower, now, I basically try to get in and get out.

So at this point I have shaved and cut my face in three different places, and shower which now has made my one eye blurry and painful. At this point the back of my head in throbbing from a painful nerve.

After a few minutes I can finally see again and I continue my morning routine. After finishing in the bathroom I move back to the kitchen to make my breakfast of two fried eggs and two pieces of toast. Nothing hard about that other than I can only see out of one eye because the other one is watering so bad it looks like I am crying.

After breakfast I pack my lunch and head to work. I always hope for a cloudy morning when I head to work. Have you ever tried to drive into the sun when your eyes are watering. Yeah, not a good idea, basically because there isn't so much seeing go on when your eyes are watering. When the sun is shining I have to wear sunglasses otherwise I can't see. I remember going to church last weekend I when we were going out to the car I had to hold someones hand because I couldn't see enough to find the car.

Finally at work I deal with my watering eye all day long which also basically rubs my eyelid raw because of always wiping my eye. I use eye drops a few time a day to make sure that my eye doesn't dry out. By mid morning of work my jaw feels like it is going to kill me from talking to much. I have to communicate with the customers, but it really takes a toll on my jaw.

Leaving work I deal again with the watery eyes which by the end of the day has given me a wonderful headache. The nerves on the back of my head are screaming at me by this point. My evening continues with dinner which Renee usually creates. Eating after a day of overusing my already sore jaw makes eat very painful.

The rest of my evening is spent trying not to talk and trying to rest up to do all of this again tomorrow.

And that is a day in the life of a person with BP.

Bell's Palsy Day 7 (1 Week)

Bell's Palsy Day 4

This is Where We Are

Hey everyone, I know it has been a very long time since I have written a post for you, but the Sutter family has been extremely busy this summer. To bring everyone up to speed on what we have been up to I will backtrack a few months.

June:
In June Renee and I met with my parents (Jim and Mary Sutter) and we became marketing executives for Melaleuca The Wellness Company. We have been working to build our business and we aren't doing to bad with it. So far we have made just over $50 with the company. I know that seems low, but if you consider that we spend only a few hours a month on it, we aren't doing too bad. I was also promoted to store manager at Gift and Bible Center in Lansing, MI.

July:
The month of July was a much busier month for us. We signed up our first customer with Melaleuca and we also purchased our first home. Up until this point we have always rented. We just didn't have the money to purchase a home, but with Renee getting a raise from her job and me getting a raise from my promotion we were able to save just enough to purchase a really nice home in downtown Lansing. We love owning our own home. I (Aaron) have already started working on a few things that needed fixing around the house. My friend James and I worked on getting some doors to latch, and I have been working on resealing the glass panes in our wooden windows on the first floor. I love being able to do whatever I want to the house. If I want to paint a room a different color I can do it without having to ask a landlord for permission. We want to give a big thank you to all of the people that helped us move from Grand Ledge to the big city!! You all are the bomb!!
Renee and I also ran in our first ever 5k race at our church. Renee and I have both lost about the same amount of weight which is about 40 lbs each. Running is our exercise of choice.

August:
In August we enrolled another two customers to Melaleuca our friends Mike and Faith Fischer and my cousins Nathan and Rebecca Sutter. We are so excited for them to start using the best products known to man.

September:
And this brings us to the month of September; and what a month it has been so far. The first weekend in September Renee found herself in the ER with an unknown pain in her side. Nothing came of the pain, but it does seem to be gone. We are so thankful for that. The next weekend we took a family vacation to Mackinaw City and Mackinac Island. We had a wonderful time. It was a week of complete bliss and relaxation. We had been there before when Marcus was just 9 months old, but we had horrible weather and Marcus was too little to enjoy it. This time Marcus had a blast. We took our bikes up with us so we could ride around the island. We actually rode around the island twice in one day. Once when we arrived on the island and again when Marcus needed a nap. It is 8 1/2 miles around the island so you can imagine that we slept great that night.

We took Marcus to a lumber jack show while in Mackinaw City. He loved it! Ever since all he wants to be is a clain saw. We also visited a working water powered saw mill that has been fully restored. I really enjoyed that one. It was amazing to see how people figured out how to harness the power of water to power such a huge operation.

We also visited the U.S Coast Guard Ice Breaker Mackinaw Museum in Mackinaw City. When we arrived on the icebreaker we ran into a man who Renee works with at Jackson National Life who lived on the Icebreaker Mackinaw back in the 80s. I really enjoyed this museum and the history of the ice breaker.

While in Mackinaw we stayed at a campground called Mill Creak Campground. They had wonderful cabins to stay in which is what we chose to do. The only drawback was that the bed's were so hard that after the first night I had a pretty sore back and eventually needed icehot to help with the stiffness.

All of this brings us to this week. On Thursday September 12th I woke up with half of my tongue feeling numb and one side of my lips loosing some of their feeling. I didn't really think much of it. I thought maybe it had something to do with the way I slept the night before or something I ate. Thursday night after the numbness getting worse (and at the urging of Renee) I decided to go to urgent care to see what was wrong. I went in having a pretty good idea of what was wrong, but I wanted to be sure. After seeing the doctor my thoughts were confirmed, I have Bell's Palsy.

It is affecting the right side of my face. Bell's Palsy is basically nerve damage and is usually not permanent. In fact 80% of those who have Bell's Palsy make a complete recovery. So a few days into my diagnosis and there really hasn't been any change other than it seems to have gotten slightly worse. It seems that the paralysis is worse in the morning and slowly relaxes a bit as the day goes on, but when I say slightly I do mean very, very slightly, hardly noticeable in fact. I am optimistic however that I will make a full recovery. I am doing some exercises and things to stimulate the nerves on the right side of my face to help with the paralysis. I am hoping that it will be healed quickly because it is rather annoying. My right eye waters almost constantly because my eyelid doesn't completely close when I blink. I also have frequent stabbing pains in the back of my head behind my right ear. Today when we went to church it was super sunny out and I could hardly see my way into the church because I can't squint my right eye and consequently both of my eye started watering as though I was crying.

I will be tracking my progress with BP on youtube to hopefully help others who are struggling with it.
The following in the first video I did. Also I will be doing another post with pictures we took while on our vacation.

So, I hope everyone has a great day and keep our family in your prayers. God Bless

This is How the Church Should Work

Yesterday as I was leaving work I checked my email one last time and happened to see a video about a little boy with cerebral palsy who had the courage to run in a race with his classmates. I was so blessed by this home video of this amazing young man that I had to write about it, but first, here is the video I saw…

As the race got to about the half way point tears began streaming down my face. This little boy was running with all the strength on legs that didn’t seem to work right and with arms that couldn’t seem to flow in motion with his body. He struggled against the exhaustion of a mind that had the will but a body that seemed to fail him.

Then something amazing happens! Matt’s coach runs up and tries to help him along. If you listen closely to the video you can hear Matt’s mother say “Matt really looks up to his coach”. Them when all his other classmates have finished the race they gather around Matt, who is still running, and begin to cheer him on. Matt finished the race that he started with the encouragement of his friends and his coach.

After watching this video I got a picture of the way the church should work. You see, Matt is like a Christian. He started the race strong, like any Christian, but he quickly slows his pace as he starts to struggle. Our sin nature slows us down, just like cerebral palsy slows Matt down. Just like Matt who’s mind is normal, but who’s body doesn’t quite work the way it should, our minds and hearts are being transformed, but our body’s still don’t work the way they were intended too.

However, here is the cool part; God is like Matt’s coach. He comes up alongside of us and encourages us. God tells us over and over again that we can do it. That we are doing great, “you’re almost there”. Then, if the church is working the way it should, its people filter in behind and around God (the coach) and surround the one who is struggling and they all start cheering us on to help us finish the race.

What a great picture of how the church should work.

Way to go Matt; for teach us how to never give up and thank you to his classmates for teaching us how to encourage the people around us who are struggling.

Fall of a Superstar (The Rise of the Broken)

So I am rereading a book on leading worship and it is a phenomenal book. But as I continue to read it I see more and more things that as a worship leader I have fallen short on. I wish I would have read it closer the first time. There are so many things that can get in the way of our relationship with Christ. My biggest stumbling block is myself. For a long time I thought I was something that everyone needed to see, like a side show at the Ionia Free Fair, or the circus or something. I have come to the realization that while I am a side show I am one of those side shows that you have to pay a small amount of money to see the really simple, ridiculous acts, and them pay more money to see the really amazing stuff like driving nails through my nose or eating a handful of honey bees, things like that.


The truth is, that even on my best days I cannot measure up to the standards set before me. I try and try, but at the end of the day all I have left is a pile of wreckage and ash in my wake.

But as the song says that I am listening to right now, “All I need is You Lord, All I need is You”. That is all any of us needs. God is our life's Avenger! He alone can save and He alone can rescue us from a life of self.

Back to this book I am reading, if God has called you to lead worship like He has me, then you know the struggle to which I am writing. There is such a fine line between worship and performance. We can mix the two, but for us as worship leader it is an extremely fine line. It is so easy to get caught up in the performing aspect of music that we lose the heart of worship that God planted in us. This happened to me recently. I simply got caught up in the music and lost my focus on who it was I was playing the music for.

The business of life took a toll and it became a crushing weight that I could no longer stand up under. I felt like a Mini Cooper at a monster truck rally and the monster truck stopped right on top of me. I wasn't turning to God to bring relief, but rather to myself. I looked to my own strength to stand up underneath the weight and I was just not strong enough to handle it on my own.

I lost perspective on Who I should have been focusing and the vision and purpose behind the worship ministry. By the time I left the church I was so crushed a tired that I had to take three months away from church just to recover from the mental and spiritual exhaustion. My biggest mistake was that I was trying to make the vision of the ministry come to pass, but that wasn't my job. My job was simply to follow Christ and He would make the vision happen. There is nothing that I can do to make God “do” anything. I stepped out of the passenger seat and stepped into the driver seat and that is when I fell apart.

I was driving hard to reach the ultimate goal which wasn't to lead people in worship, but rather to land a full time worship leader position in the church. I even landed an interview in Frankenmuth, MI with one of the most predominate churches in that area. I didn't make the cut, but when I landed the interview I was on cloud nine. I thought I was somebody, I thought I had arrived. Who knew that it was the beginning of God breaking me.

Pride, it is one of the most, if not the most, destructive sin known to man. The bible says that “pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before the fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) As worship leaders we have to be so careful not to fall into the trap of destructive pride.

I wish I could go back to the beginning and start again, but God doesn't work like that. He allows us to walk through the valleys so that we grow stronger in Him.

I feel that I am finally getting stronger, but it is a slow and painful process. There is a lot of self examination in the healing process. I have to spend a lot of time going through the painful process of being striped away till only Christ remains. It is like I was telling my son last night when he asked about the scar I have on my knee. I told him that “the doctor had to give daddy an owy so that his knee would feel better, and now it feels allot better”. The recovery process was miserable not only for me, but for Renee as well, because she had to get up every four hours for weeks to change the ice water that surrounded my leg, and she was pregnant at the time.

It is the same with a broken life. It is miserable for everyone involved until healing comes. So it is my prayer for very broken worship leader, pastor, husband, father, anyone, that you would hold on through the healing process, because there is a better life on the other side of the pain and healing.

How Blessed Are We?

It has been a few weeks since the last time I posted. I apologize for that, but it is for good reason. Our family has been very busy. I myself have been reaching toward a new career in the medical field and I have finally chosen where to start. I have been struggling for months with this life altering decision. I have chosen to start the steps needed to enter nursing.


To some this may come as a surprise and for others this may be old hat. I have talk with several friends about their experiences in the nursing field and also their experiences as a CNA (Certified Nurses Aid). After weighing all of the options and mulling over all of the career and educational requirements I have chosen to start with becoming a CNA/PCT (Patient Care Technician).

However, this is not the only thing that has kept me away from writing to my readers. My son, Marcus and his cousin, Isaiah, were running around our house last weekend and having loads of fun, but the fun never lasts forever. The boys were, as I said, running around the house screaming, laughing, and simply having loads of fun. Fun, until they decided to jump off the couch. They found their new found base jumping adventure to be very exciting, but the last time Marcus jumped his Superman cape failed to co-operate and he fell and broke his leg.

Now hold on, this still isn't all! The weather in Michigan was so beautiful a few weeks ago that we went out as a family and bought bikes for everyone. I have been doing my best to get out in the nice weather and get some exercisize and have done pretty well. In the last month and a half I have lost a total of 18 lbs. Renee has also been doing her best and she has lost a total of 13 lbs in the same amount of time. We have not only been biking but also running, and getting our butts kicked by Jillian Michaels with her 30 day Shred.

So as you can see things have been very crazy around the Sutter household for the last few weeks. Oh, but we are so excited. It is looking like Marcus will be able to get his cast off after just two weeks, and the weight loss is still on the rise, or decline (not sure which word to use there) and I will be starting at community college in the fall for my CNA/PCT training.

What a wild ride!! God has been so good. We are so glad that is was Marcus who took the infamous fall rather than his cousin Isaiah (who's family were five hours from home), not that we wished it on Marcus, but if it had to be one of them, that it was Marcus. We are happy that we are losing weight at such an amazing pace, even though it has been so much work. Finally, I am so blessed to have a supportive family and friends who encourage me to run head long into my future rather than play it safe in a dead end career.

How blessed are we?!?!

Blessings

The fog has fallen as a blanket across the Grand Ledge area this morning. As my wife and I were racing out the door off to another long day of work we realized that this was the first time our son Marcus has seen fog, or at least noticed the fog. He was so cute. My wife had the light of her car on and we could see the small particles of water slowly falling in the bright beams. Marcus was so excited! He would stand in the light and put his hand out as if to catch the dust like precipitation and shrieked with amazement and delight.


Driving into work I got to thinking about Marcus and how much of a blessing he is. I thank God for him every day, but it wasn’t always this way. Soon after we brought Marcus home, not being sure if it was the sheer exhaustion or not, but when Marcus would wake up every two hours there would be times when I just wanted to shake him to make him be quiet. It those moments I could see how someone could shake their baby. I never gave into this passing desire, and those days shortly past.

Being that I work in the music industry I always seem to have a song to illustrate a moment in life. The song that can to mind today was “Blessings” by Laura Story. Story just earned a Grammy award for her latest album entitled “Blessings”.

Here is the song that has meant so much to me over the last few months.

Solar Flare

Yesterday as I was getting ready for the heat wave we were suppose to have from the solar blast of the sun I had an amazing thought. “What if this solar blast is Jesus coming back?” I know it sounds pretty far fetched, but the bible does say that He will come like a “thief in the night”.


I was thinking about this wonderful possibility and playing out how it would look through my minds eye. I listened to the news cast in the morning and no one else was saying “its the Apocalypse, we're all gonna die”!! No, what I heard was some lame news anchor talking about “a cloud of “magnetic material” heading toward earth. My first thought here was “a cloud coming at the earth, from the sun. Hum, that's interesting.” The sun (being a big ball of fire) shooting off a cloud toward the earth made me think of Jesus coming on the clouds. Then I also thought, the bible also says that God will destroy the earth with fire. So, “big ball of fire” launches “big cloud at earth”. Caught up? OK, good.

The news cast also stated that this “magnetic cloud” was suppose to interfere with radio signals, GPS systems, satellites, and airplane navigation systems. Hello, sounds like the possibility of some major havoc here on earth with all these systems going haywire. Sounds like a scene from “Left Behind”.

Well, needless to say, none of this stuff ever transpired. The magnetic cloud seemingly missed our little planet and didn't even mess with our radio frequencies. I wasn't really disappointed because, after all, I like living here. I mean, I have a nice house, a great family, and great friends. Why would I want to leave?

I got to thinking about that last thought the most. “I like living here.” The truth is I do. I know I shouldn't. I know that this place is full of nastiness and filth, but I guess I can look past it. My mind continued to race with all different kinds of thoughts about Jesus return and I asked myself, “why do I like living on this planet”? It really has nothing to offer me except pain and death. Everyday I'm getting older. In fact I have been dying since the day I was born. I thought about the reasons I like living here and I only came up with one answer that I could actually say that I would miss. That one thing is my family. The reason I would miss them is because I don't know if I will know them when I get to heaven. I don't know if there will be marriage in heaven or whether my son will know me. That really kind of makes me sad. Everything else in this old world could go away and I wouldn't care, but my family, that I don't think I could forget about.

So just in case we aren't going to know our wives, husbands, or children, in heaven, spend as much time as you can with them now. So that when we get to heaven, maybe, just maybe, we will all meet again, and once more be a happy family.

Rich Mullins

I feel that I am an old soul sometimes when I listen to Rich Mullins, but I love his music. I am so sorry that he is not still living today for me to go see him live in concert. Here are just a few of my favorite songs by Rich. I hope you come to love them as much as I do.

Did You Vote in the Primary?

This morning I got up a little early and got the family around to get to the poles. I was undecided right up until I stepped into the voting booth. I'm not sure why, but it was a very difficult choice for me. I would have originally voted for Cain, but since he dropped out I have been undecided. In the end I had to go with my gut level feeling.
My wife and I were the third and four to vote in our district. It seemed to be a very low turnout. I encourage everyone to get out and vote for which ever candidate you find yourself pulled toward. The important thing is that you vote and let your voice be heard!!
If you voted today Feb. 28, 2012 let our readers know. Leave a comment a tell us that you voted. If you want you can even tell us who you voted for. Thanks for voting!!

Homeschooling Information

There are few things I really like about my job, but one that really seems to get me excited is talking to parents who are looking for information about homeschooling. Being home schooled myself I have a pretty good vantage point from which to explain the good and the bad about teaching your children at home.


Being that part of the store I work at houses one of the only Teaching Stores in Michigan we get a lot of people coming in looking to purchase materials for homeschooling. On occasion I get to talk with people who are considering the option of homeschooling and are looking for advice. Two of the biggest questions I get asked are 1) “Did you like being home schooled?” and 2) “Won't my kids be socially awkward or inept?” My answers are the same to everyone who asks; 1) “I didn't like it at the time, but looking back I got a really good education.” and 2) to quote my mom, “Your kids will have more social life than they could know what to do with.”

Most people researching home schooling don't realize that most home schooled students are done with their classes by noon. There are organized sports for students to get involve in, and there are classes that they can take that are away from the home.

The young couple that came into the store were shocked when I told them that there are organized sports for home schoolers. They also had no idea that there was anything out there to help teach your children at home. This particular couple had recently moved to the area and wanted to finish out the school year at home. However, when they heard that there were so many options for homeschooling her eyes got big like she wanted to do more than half a year.

The whole reason for this post isn't to convince readers that they should home school their children (heck, I'm not sure I will be homeschooling my own kid) it is to help those who are looking for more information on taking the plunge. The above couple were at a loss on where to get information on homeschooling or even how to begin, so I thought I would try and get some links together in one place to help those searching for more and better information. Note: some of the following links are Michigan based.

Teen Works (Michigan Based)

http://www.teenworks.net/

West Michigan Home School Athletic Association:

http://www.wmhsaa.com/index.php

Lansing Home School Athletic Association:

http://www.homeschoolingmichigan.com/kidsports.html

Abeka Curriculum:

http://www.abeka.com/abekaonline/downloadcatalogs/?user=guest

Home School Resources:

http://homeschoolcentral.com/

Homeschooling Conventions:

http://www.greathomeschoolconventions.com/

Please know that homeschooling is not for everyone. If homeschooling is your education of choice or if you are considering homeschooling please know that this is not a quick fix for children with A.D.D or A.D.H.D. Speaking from experience there will be times when your child will burst into tears because of the frustrations that can come with learning at home. Homeschooling is not easy on the parents, in fact parents need to be more involves than ever before in their child's schooling. If the parent is not attentive the child could end up failing out of school or falling behind their peers in school. While homeschooling can produce some very smart and well rounded students, it can also produce lazy, unhealthy, and uneducated adults.

Looking back on my own experience with homeschooling I realize that I got a good education and I was well socialized. I was involved in home school sports, a top rated youth choir, and had hundreds of friends home schooled and otherwise.

If any reads have any questions feel free to comment and I will try to get back to you in a timely manner.

Ped Egging the Human Heart

I have this affinity to the callouses on my feet. I like to get rid of them. Standing on my feet all day I seem to get an excessive thickness on my heels. A few years ago my wife bought me a “Ped Egg”. You remember the television commercials, don't you? They show a woman using this contraption to remove those pesky callouses on her feet. In just a few minutes they show the woman holding out what seems to be the entire first layer of her dermis in this little glorified skin shaver.

Tonight I was Ped Egging my own pesky, crusty, feet when a thought popped into my head like the sweet aroma of dead skin filling air and half filing the plastic egg. I found myself wondering, “I wonder if Jesus needed a Ped Egg?” I am sure He did because He walked everywhere. I would imagine that His feet were much more crusty than anything we would see today. Then I wondered, “if Jesus ever took a pumice stone to His feet, or at least tried to scrape His callouses on a rock?”

I can't help thoughts like these. They seem to fly into my head so fast that I don't have time to block them. I'm not sure I would even if I could. I get a lot of thinking done this way. The thought flies in, my A.D.D. kicks in, and my mind goes from “What is the square root of 3905763?” (because I am very smart) to, “I wonder if Jesus ever chewed on His own toes nails?” (again, because I am very smart).

I often wonder how far Jesus walked out of His way to see just one person? How far would He go to let some one know His love? The christianese thing to say would be “He walked all the way to the cross”. But, really, how far? Or, better yet, how far did he run, if you see Jesus as the father in the parable of the prodigal son? I don't run much, but I have done my share and it only increases the thickness of skin on my heels, so I would bet that Jesus had to do a lot more running than me.

I tell you what, I see Jesus not as someone who just runs to people in need, but I see Him as a Ped Egg to a world of calloused hearts. And getting down on His knees, looking past the stink and dirt, He takes His Ped Egg and begins to gently, lovingly, scrape the callouses off of our hearts. The interesting thing is, once He gets the callouses off of our hearts, He asks us to go and start doing the same for someone else.

So, who's heart are you Ped Egging?

Human Trafficing

As of late I have been awakened to the rising problem of human trafficking in our country. My wife and I were sitting on the couch a few nights before the super bowl and she was reading and article on human trafficing in America. she read to me a quote from that article in which it stated (and I am paraphrasing here) that something like 20,000 women and young girls were trafficked into Indianapolis to service the super bowl attendees. The super bowl is the single most event in the U.S in which women and girls are trafficked.

These statics blew me away! How could I have missed this before? I guess I have just chosen to not think about the problem. I recently read a book by Philip Yancey entitled "What Good is God" in which Yancey interviews a room full of prostitutes and sex workers. Durring the interview Yancey listened to the women compare their daily quotas. "Linda, a former top madam in Australia who's business used to gross $30,000 per week, remarked that in her day the 'girls' serviced around five clients a day; now they have to accomodate ten to fifteen. Hilda from Costa Rica reacted with shock: 'Fifteen? I did up to a hundred a day, on a double shift!" I was so caught off guard by what these women were saying. I became so sad as I read this portion of Yancey's book that I had to put it down for a few minutes in fear of breaking into tears.

My question is, where is the church? Where is the government? To be honest I know the answer to that question. One of the women Yancey interviewed said that they can't rely on the government officials to stop human trafficing. The government officials are some of their best customers.

I lived for several years in a small town near Lansing, Michigan. When I first moved there I saw a building (L.A. Spa) across from a John Deere dealership which from its name looked to be a spa. Boy was I wrong. From talking with some friends I soon found out that this was no spa. I should have known from the V.I.P sign on the door that it was more than a day spa. My friends and I would make jokes about the place, but since I have learned more about human trafficing I don't find it funny anymore.

What if the women hold up in that place are there against their will? What if they are never allowed to see the light of day or step outside and get some fresh air? What if they are being beaten daily? I have never seen anyone go in or out of that building, yet the sign out front is always lit up saying they are open.

My heart breaks for those women inside that place.

I have heard that the place has been raided by the police several times yet it is still open twenty four hours a day seven days a week. I cannot imagine the conditions the women are forced to live in. Just how many women are in there?

It is strange that this little town from the outside seems to have it all together. There website states that "they come home to a small, close-knit community of established neighborhoods and businesses where people care for and about their neighbors. This community spirit makes Portland a hometown we are proud of." Yet, when you look past the shiny veneer of this little town it has a very dark under belly of sex and drug abuse. The sad thing is that this is certainly not the only town with problems like these. There are millions of small towns with these same problems, yet the brothels stay open and the strips clubs continue to flourish.

Because of these problems I am made keenly aware of the need for a loving and just God. One who gives grace and continues to give it as long as we live even to those who are doing the trafficking.

Captain Planet

One of my favorite cartoons as a kids was "Captain Planet". I loved sitting in front of the t.v. watching these characters battling the "bad guys" as they pollute the planet. They were dumping toxic waist out of big metal drums or spilling oil in the ocean. Anyway you look at it Captain Planet was the best cartoon ever!

I was singing the theme song in the kitchen this morning as my wife was fixing her breakfast. I asked her if she had ever seen the show. She said, "does it sound like I have ever seen the show? You have to remember I grew up in a house of girls." I thought to myself first, "how could someone so smart not have seen such an awesome cartoon?" and second, "that must really stink not seeing the best cartoon ever made".

As I was thinking about Captain Planet I wondered if Jesus' disciples ever felt like captain planet as they were spreading the gospel across the world. I am sure Paul had to feel that way because he was writing letters and planting churches all across the land. Paul came up against some pretty heavy spiritual pollution in some of the churches he planted.

I wonder if the pastors of today's churches feel this way. Like they have be the one to save the day and clean up the church environment. No matter how you look at it, our pastors have it pretty ruff. The next time you see your pastor let him or her know how much you appreciate how hard they work and the mess they go through everyday.

Where Momma Doe?

This morning I had a really hard time pulling myself out of the precious slumber that I enjoy so much. The main reason for this struggle was my son. He just turn two years old and he seems to have an acute case of the separation anxiety. We put him down for "night night" at right around 7:45 pm and he slept like a baby until my wife and I went to bed at 10 pm. We were laying in bed on the verge of entering dream land when we hear the piercing sound of screams and tears and "where momma doe? where momma doe?". Renee got up the first time and tried to settle the little one down and it only took a few minutes. She found her way back to the bedroom bumping into walls on her way. About ten minutes later we here the same piercing screams and tears as before. This time I choose to go and again it only took a few minutes to calm the boy and I was back in the bed lumbering toward la la land.
Well, to make a long story short, after getting up for what seemed like the twentieth time the alarm went off and it was time to start another day.
As I was spending my time with Jesus this morning I was praying and I got this image of God, frustrated and perturbed, coming to me once again to comfort me, His whining, screaming, child for the one thousandth time. I was taken aback by this image of God consistently coming to my aid as His child. He is there whenever I wake up screaming with tears saying "where Jesus doe?".
No matter how often I wake up in the middle of the night kicking and screaming He is always there. He may be exhausted and a little frustrated for having to get up for the one millionth time, but He always comes to aid me in my time of need. What a great Father I have.

I'm Finished!!

Well, it's done!! I finished the book I was reading, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” by Donald Miller. I have to say that I am rather impressed with myself. I can't recall a time when it took me less than a week to read a book. Of course there are the kids books that I read almost daily to my son, but those don't count. I am talking about a book with 200 or more pages.


I am the slowest read I know and still slower than the ones I don't. I get distracted very easily and find myself reading over what I have all ready read just to get back to the place where I got distracted. In college I only finished one book in the entire two and a half years and it was only 150 pages long and it still took me five weeks to get it done. The amazing thing is that I still graduated with a 3.4 GPA. It was the book from my first college class. I am proud to say that this book that I just finished was 259 pages long.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years is a very easy read if you were wondering. It was a story about finding story in the story you are living. That's a lot of story.

Oops, my son is waking up from his nap.

I was just so inspired by Miller's stories of world travel, meeting new people, and biking across the country, that I simply had a hard time putting it down. I would encourage anyone who is thinking of reading this wonderful book to do it. Live in the story that Donald Miller is telling, or better yet, read the book and get involved in your own story. Oh, don't just take my word for it, find out for yourself.

Before I started reading this book I read the back cover, you know, to get a feel for what the book is about. I also read the note about the author and I almost didn't read the book. Donald Miller serves on President Barack Obama's task force on Fatherhood and Healthy Families. I consider myself a conservative and had to get over myself to read this book. Who knew God could use a Democrat to introduce people to a larger story?!?! I am kidding of course. I have a number of family and friends who voted for President Obama and I love each one of them very much. It really doesn't matter who any of us votes for that matters, it's about how we all work together to make the country better, no matter who wins the election.

This really isn't an political blog I promise. That was one of my more distracted moments. It could be my A.D.D. or the fact that I am watching the movie “Groundhogs Day” as I write this. Anyway, I love Donald Miller's writing and I would encourage anyone to read any and all of his amazing books.

Here is the official trailer for the movie “Blue Like Jazz”.

 

 

The Story Your Living

By this point in the week we are heading straight into the mid-week hump and I have to say, I wish we were already at the weeks end. Since my son was born my wife and I rarely do anything outside of the home. Marcus (our son) heads to bed around seven o'clock and Renee and I get to work doing dishes, cleaning the house, and watching “Biggest Loser” and eating popcorn. I know, eating while watching a weight loss show seems pretty cliche, but that is exactly what we do almost every week.


I have recently been reading a book which talks about viewing life as a story and I have to say it is hard to do. I was thinking about the story I have been living thus far in my life. I came to the realization that I have been living a small story. A boring story. A story that would put people to sleep if it were ever to be put into film or book.

I struggle with an immense fear of people, conversation, and failure. Once when I was ten years old I started my own lawn mowing service called “Sutter's Lawn Mowing”. I hung fliers around a few towns in our area with the little pull off tabs with my phone number on them and waited for someone to call. It took a few weeks but I finally got a call back. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday. My mom answered and called me into to room and whispered to me that it was someone wanting me to mow their lawn. I took the phone into my shaking hands and put it up to my ear and said, “hellee, Helli, uh!, Hello?” I felt like the stupidest kid in the neighborhood. From that point on I hated talking on the phone and still do to this day.

There were a few years in there where I actually lived in fear of having to answer the telephone and speak with the person on the other end. My fear of phone calls translated and shifted into a fear of people. I wouldn't look people in the eye when in a conversation and rarely started one.

Looking back I can see that my fear kept me living a small story. My fear held me captive for far too long. Now, ironically I work in customer service at a retail store. Let's just say I had to face my fear of people head out.

Before reading this book I had not given much thought to what kind of story I was living. I was just living life, or so I thought. I'm the type of person who tries to live in the here and now, not the future. However, I do sometimes find myself living in the past. When I was in high school I played basketball on a home school team. I wasn't very good and spent most of my short lived career sitting on the bench. I was heavy set and short in stature, not a good combination for the sport of basketball, but I loved to play the game. It seems strange, but sometimes I find myself thinking back to a basketball tournament where I I scored eight point in the matter of five minutes. A career first (and last).. When I think about that time in my life I have to smile because I was such a dork.

My story at this point does have all the elements it needs to be a great story according to Donald Miller author of “A Millions Miles in a Thousand Years”. He says the best stories involve “a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it”. It is true isn't it? All the great epics portray someone overcoming immense odds to, like Frodo getting the ring to the Mountain of Doom or like Rudy getting the hell beaten outta him by college football players.

I haven't ever faced Orcs or gotten my hind end handed to me by a seven foot tall human battering ram, but I have been through my share of life conflict. I don't want to go into my past here but if you read some of my previous blogs you will discover some of the “poo” I have been through.

I'm still not quite sure what I am trying to “get” yet, but I know that it involves my family. My family is my world. I basically get up, go to work, and come back home, and I do it everyday for my family.

I used to think that the thing I was trying to get was becoming a world famous worship leader who would lead thousands of people in worship in stadiums across the country. I would travel all around the world on tour with Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio. However, as I said in one of my recent posts I got wrapped up in leading worship at my church and kind of forgot about my family. I spent way too much time working and much too little time with my wife and son.

Stepping down as worship leader was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. It wasn't just because I love music and I love the people that I was leading, but more because I had to let go of the dream. I had to lay down what I thought was important to be a better father, husband, and servant. I got distracted by a smaller side story. I took my eyes off of the real story, which I'm still not clear on, and began to focus on the side plot. Being a world famous worship leader is a smaller story. Being a good father and husband, now that is a story that I want to get wrapped up in.

So what kind of story are you living? Are you lost in the side story, back story, or the special affects? They are all things to distract us from the real story. I can't tell you what your story is, nor can you tell me mine. God has a story for each of us to live, we just have to hit the play button. So... what are you waiting for? To quote from the movie “Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader”, “Your journey begins now!”

The Riv

This morning our family visited a church that we have been to in the past. Riverview Community Church in Holt, MI. Renee and I visited Riverview about seven years ago before we were married. We really liked the church back then, but felt that it was too big for us small town folk. Seven years ago God had a message for us through the Pastor, Noel Heikkenin about sex. We got the CD of the message and listened to it a few different times.

This week God had a message for me. It seems that everywhere I look God is talking to me about the freedom we as Christ followers have through Christ. I recently read a book “Bringing Up Boys” by Dr. James Dobson and part of that book talked about freedom in Christ. I was talking to a customer at the store and he talked to me about the same thing and then this morning. I guess God thinks I need to know my true freedom in Christ.

Freedom in Christ has been something that I have been thinking about for many years, but I never really got it. I couldn't anyone who would explain it to me in plain terms that I could apply to life. Well, this morning I finally found someone willing to tell me in plain terms that I could understand. The text used was 1 Corinthians 8:1-13 and it is as follows...

1 Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. 2 If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. 3 But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.

4 Therefore, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that “an idol has no real existence,” and that “there is no God but one.” 5 For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”— 6 yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.

7 However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. 8 Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. 9 But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol's temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? 11 And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. 12 Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble. (ESV)

I do not want to try and explain this passage at this time as I am still trying to process all the information I received this morning. I want to continue studying this passage to increase my understanding before I elaborate on this subject more. If you would like to hear the same message that we heard this morning just click on the link http://rivchurch.com/ . 

The Funk

Over the past few weeks I have been learning so much about myself and what I have been living like. As a worship leader I felt I was one of the best I had ever experienced. I felt that I had the right to think I was the best because I worked hard to better myself in the realm of worship music. I would work feverishly to work out a new song I heard on the radio and try to get it ready to play the next week at church. I found myself isolating myself from my wife and my son so that I could prepare for church once a week.


Granted, I was very busy. I work fifty hours a week at my job and then I would spend another ten to twenty hours on music at home. I found myself more married to worship music than to my wife and my son. I would throw myself into music and work and leave my family hanging out to dry.

Today, life is much different for our family. I stepped down from the worship leader position at our former church and basically stopped playing music all together. I had to detox from the habits I had gotten myself into as a worship leader. In fact we have been away from our old church about 6 months now and I just started to pick up my guitar again. It wasn't that I don't like music. I love music. I love everything about it, but I hated what it turned my into. Music brought out the pride in my life. I feel like I am finally starting to recover and learn how to give worship totally to God.

I played one of my favorite worship songs this morning I used “I” instead of “we” in the song. For me it took on a totally new meaning. It is good for the church to sings songs as a body, but so often we lose (as I did) our individual identity in the church. I would encourage you to change up the worship songs you sing and change the words from “we” to “me” and I think it will bring the effect of the song home to your heart.

I am so thankful that I am starting to come out of the funk that I have been in. I am hoping that maybe if you are in a funk today that this blog will find a place in your heart you too will be able to step out of the funk and into the light of day again.

It's a Curious Thing

It's a curious thing that has been happening lately since I have begun to talk more about my personal struggles and short comings as a man. In the last few weeks there have been three different people who have approached me asking if I would be willing to talk to someone they know who is struggling with various things that I have written about. Porn, abuse, and lust.


I used to think that I was all alone in my struggles with these things, but it turns out there are millions of men just like me who have been addicted to porn, or been abused, and struggle daily with lust. In my teenage years I was tormented by the problems I had with these things and I struggled in silence. Because I was a “PK” I felt I always had to be prefect. There was no room for error. I have to look the part and act the part. It was torture. I didn't know then that Christian's struggle with sin just as much as non-Christians. I didn't know that God loved me unconditionally or even what the word meant. All I could see was that I needed to be good or the church would feel my father was a bad pastor.

What I didn't know was that God doesn't really care how we look to others. If He did we would all be dressed in Armani jeans and dinner jackets designed by Ralph Lauren. God cares solely about the soul. Now of course He cares about every part of your life, but it all surrounds the soul. Everything that God does is to make sure that you are with Him in Heaven. That is why God gives us unlimited, unwarranted, unrelenting, unchanging, beautiful grace. Grace has covered all the sins we have committed and all the sins we will commit.

That is the thing I didn't get when I was a teenager. I didn't get that someone could love me so much that it didn't matter what I did. He was always going to love me and He was never going to stop loving me.

There is freedom in God's grace. Why do you think the song is calling “Amazing Grace”? Because it is. When I was a kid I thought that once you accepted Jesus into your life things would all get better and life would be perfect, but it is not true. The words of the song go like this, “Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm found. Was blink, but now I see.” Anywhere in those lyrics did you see where the wretch became un-wretched. No, because we are still wretches. The only difference is that now we are a wretch who is covered completely by a grace that is completely free. How amazing is that!!

Now back to being asked to talk to those three different people.

Whenever someone asks me if I will talk to someone about what I have been through I always feel uneasy. Partly because I have no idea what I am suppose to say. I would be like, “hey, so you were abuse as a kid? Cool, so was I.” I mean really, what am I suppose to say? It is much easier for me to throw a book at them and say, “here read this, it helped me” rather than just sitting down with them and saying “hey, I want you to know that I know what you are going through and it is so hard. But you can get through it. If you ever need someone to talk to who knows what you are going through, just give me a call. I will be there to listen if nothing else.”

Something like this should be so easy to do, but it's not. It feels so unsafe. So vulnerable. But this is what Jesus commanded us to do. Carry each others burdens. Why because it is much easier to carry the weight of what the world has dumped on you when someone else is helping you carry it.

If you are reading this right now and you need someone to just listen to what you are going through, simply comment anonymously on this post. I may post a response if your comment warrants one, otherwise I am just here to listen to your story. There is nothing worse than walking through life trying to hold inside the weight and mess that the world has dumped on you. Let it out here and now. There is something so freeing about talking about the pain and hurt that you have been through. I know, I have been there. The first time I told someone I was abused it was over instant messenger and the person logged off before I could tell them, but it was still so freeing. You can have the freedom that comes with dumping all that weight. Let it out here. I promise you that my wife and I will be praying for you even if you comment anonymously. God knows who your are, and He knows your name.